lerox

just saw pics of myself from like 6 or 7 years ago. shit was i thin. going to get back there. i've grown a few inches since then, but i think i've got about 30 lbs to lose to get back to the same build. at least i know that i can be skinny...i was once.

not at all. it was probably just a scale that made me feel better. FUCK. i didn't change at all.

i ate pretty normally for me at home, a bit too much chocolate, but i wasn't drinking so much. i'm not having dinner tonight, and i'm going on a run and playing in a soccer game tonight, so that should burn the cals i ate at lunch today (630 cals). going for net of zero cals every day. and not eating more than 1200 because i won't burn more than that anyway.

i've had 375 cals today before dinner. going to definitely keep it under 1,000 cals today. i've been having a lot of water and i had coffee for breakfast. as long as i control myself before dinner, i usually end up ok for the day because it gives me a little room to mess up and i usually talk myself out of messing up anyway.

on saturday i'm going to visit my sister for a few days, then going home for a few days. so i'll be able to weigh myself again (i don't have a scale at school). i'm also thinking of just going to work out when my sister is in class. that should help, plus she doesn't really eat much. also, i haven't gone out to drink the last 3 nights (doesn't sound like much, but it is for me) and i'm not going to tonight because i have a test in the morning. that's a ton of saved calories. i'm kind of excited to weigh myself. i haven't been watching things too closely lately, but i wasn't when i got back to school either, and lost about 5 lbs.

...hopefully that will be the case this time.

hey all, i know i haven't been on here in a while, but at least i'm coming back. since i've been back at school i haven't been watching myself too much, and drinking a lot. BUT...i lost weight. down to 137.8 now, when i just weighed myself last week for the first time since i had been home.

so by the end of lent (april 23), my goal is 130. i gave up pizza and french fries and have actually been sticking with that, so i have an excuse every time people order pizza or i feel like getting fries for lunch. i'm just not giving in. and i'm going to keep doing this with pizza and french fries, and then each month from now on give up something else. i already don't eat pasta (i haven't in like 5 yrs), but i'll give up like cookies and chocolate or soft serve ice cream. i think that should help a lot.

plus i'm going to force myself to run on a daily basis. no excuses. some people i know at school are just losing a ton of weight lately and their friends tell me that its because they barely eat and workout every day without fail. that will be me.

trying soooo hard to avoid a binge right now. i'm not even hungry, i just feel like having a big bowl of cereal or something. just watched the devil wears prada. makes me want to drop a size too and just say no to food. i'm doing it. saying no to food, finding something else to do...like crunches maybe or planning what i'm going to eat tomorrow so i don't go over my cals.

well my feeling sorry for myself was for very little reason...i thought i gained back more than i did. this is good, because i conservatively started that weight countdown yesterday at 143 lbs. so this way, i'm only like .4 lbs away from next week's goal weight. which i'll definitely get done before that.

B: 160
G:-130
L: 260
W:-400
D: 660

ugh just above 1000 cals today but i don't think its going to kill me. just have to stay focused and be under 1000 cals every day.

motivated. motivated. motivated. no matter how much crap i feel like right now. i just went onto this website, losertown, and it predicts how much weight you'll lose if u have a certain number of calories per day. and if i have even 1000 cals per day between now and spring break, i'll be 124.5 lbs!!! omg thats amazing. and that's even with moderate exercise 3-5 days a week. i put that in to be conservative, but i definitely plan on doing really good workouts every day. i've been slacking, but i'm gonna count calories like its my job and really really focus on this. it means so much to see week by week what weight i should be at if i'm following the rules.

Day Weight Cals Used
01/14/2008 140.76 2296.42
01/21/2008 138.18 2278.98
01/28/2008 135.64 2261.78
02/04/2008 133.13 2244.81
02/11/2008 130.66 2228.07
02/18/2008 128.22 2211.55
02/25/2008 125.81 2195.26
03/03/2008 123.43 2179.18

so these are my weekly goals. it's the 7th now, so i'm going to get to 140.76 at least in a week (i started it 2lbs higher than what i lasted weighed, again just to be safe). that shouldn't be bad, hopefully lower so i can make progress on the next week. love love love this!!

so i know why i gave in the last 2 days. i got my period today, which would explain why i've felt like shit. i went to workout this morning and burned 600 cals. had scrambled eggs for lunch. i can't let myself go, though. if you workout and diet though, i think i read somewhere before that you lose more weight than normal? maybe just water weight? who knows.

it always seems that when i mess up, it happens in pairs. like last night and then today i was snacking. i was pretty good for breakfast and dinner, but just had a bunch of little snacks this afternoon. gross. and now because of that, i don't even know how many cals i had.

this guy that i've been friends with called me tonight. i missed his call and called back, but then he called me later and i missed that too. i dunno what's going on with him, but my best friend was hooking up with him last year. this year i've been hanging out with him more. o well, just want to know what he thinks.

tomorrow i will not let myself leave the health club until i've been working out for an hour and a half. and before or after that i'm doing the workout in shape magazine that lauren conrad does. ok, plan...now i just have to do it. and 1000 cal max.

fuckkkkk i binged last night. had a bowl of cereal. far too scared to weigh myself this morning. i'm so upset with myself. can't wait to go back to school when i won't have food around all the time and the weight will just fall off with my plans. grrrr

B: 160
L: 160
D: 750

well, i went over 1000 cals today, but still not horrible i guess. i took a 3 hr nap this afternoon instead of working out. oops. i really hope this doesn't bring my weight up. but naps are supposed to help, right?

still another tiny weight drop (like it even matters), but its better than gaining i guess. i've been feeling really anxious lately like what i'm eating actually has more calories than what the calorie count website says. i'll feel a lot better when i get back to school in a week and know that i'm just having like a protein shake or something like that so i won't have to worry about it as much. so close to breaking 140, i can't wait. going to have a big workout sometime today.

thank goodness, finally a little drop in the weight. almost to breaking 140! i'm going to feel sooo much better when that happens and feel a lot more pressure to getting to 130 then. i've got to set some goals, though.
STGW: 130 lbs (for spring break, march 1)
LTGW: 120 lbs (for summer break?)

today, more of the same. small pack of oatmeal for breakfast, though we've run out of the apples and cinnamon type, which is only 130 cals, so i've got to have the cinnamon now that is 160 cals. ugh.

B: 160 cals
L: 160 cals
W:-300 cals
D: 600 cals

pan pizza dinner :( but still under 1000 cals for the day!!

i can't believe my weight is the same!?! hmm perhaps because i'm bloated...expecting that time of the month ick.

B: 160 cals
W:-750 cals
L: 200 cals
D: 500

grrr. i was doing ok with a 40 cal lunch and then got freezing and decided to warm myself up with a 160 cal pack of oatmeal. unneccessary. and i don't know how i'll survive dinner tonight...ham croquettes with cheese sauce. blehhh

ok, so not so much cheese sauce. skipped that. and dinner was very under control, more than i thought it would be. sooo total net 110 cals today! and 860 cals before workout, so i've been under 1,000 cals every day in '08!

up late, can't sleep. so at midnight i booked my flight for spring break. and i havent even gotten the go-ahead from my parents. woooo i am usually not so rebellious! ha.
me on spring break:


and that show i saw was great motivation. i can't stop thinking about it. so the plan for when i go back to school through spring break (start of march):
week 1, raw foods
week 2, master cleanse
week 3, protien shakes
week 4, raw foods
week 5, protein shakes
plus i'll be running a lot because i'm in a half marathon a week before spring break!

B: 180 cals
L: 0 cals
D: 730 cals

so 910 cals total. no exersize today, but still not terrible. i'll get in a workout tomorrow. i better be down tomorrow, 2 days under 1,000 cals. grr.

also, i just saw this really great show on BBC america called "super skinny me". it's about 2 people who try all these crash diets for a week at a time and lose a bunch of weight. they end up looking tiny and great. that's going to be me! what great motivation!

ughhhh my weight didn't drop at all. after such a good day yesterday controlling myself. i go back to school in about a week and a half. should be able to definitely break below 140 by then.

i also am going to do the master cleanse when i get back to school. like buy all the ingredients the day i get back. i'm just nervous that people are going to want to get together in the first week and go out to eat or something. wonder how many cals you have each day on the master cleanse? hmm. well before then i'm going to take hydroxycut for one meal a day while i'm still at home. otherwise i feel like it will be too obvious or something.

breakfast: 230 cals
lunch: 0 cals
workout: -250 cals
dinner: 480 cals

for a net of 460 cals today! and i didn't have any milk or cheese. i did have some french onion dip, but that was the highest thing all day and i kept my portions under control. can't wait to see if i've made progress and do this again tomorrow.

well, it's the new year again. i'm not really sure how the ski weekend went as far as my calorie balance, but i kinda felt like i ate a lot when i did...then i think about it, and i mostly had big snacks. hmm. at least i got a lot of exersize.

i'm thinking of just taking hydroxycut pills. or something. i want a big jumpstart to this whole process. and i'm cutting out dairy from my diet. seriously, if i didn't have milk or cheese i would cut a ton of cals. here goes.

not really sure what i weigh after this weekend...find out tomorrow morning, 2008 starting weight! can only go down from that!

justttt made it today with 1,186 cals. thank goodness i was below 1,200. 1 down, a ton to go! even the last 200 cals were totally unneccessary...i had a chocolate milk when i got back from the game. ugh. o well!

so my BMI is 21.4...it will be really nice to see it drop below 20. for that to happen, i need to be 131 lbs. CANNOT WAIT until then! no more than 1,200 cals per day but hope to be below that and workout every day without fail. must burn at least 600 cals per day from exercise.

that's like 10 lbs for me, so if i really stick to a plan it should take about 4 weeks? hopefully less?

i'm back. now at 140.8, but i was 142.6 3 days ago and i've just really been busting my butt in workouts, not changing my eating too much. so when i do that, my weight should drop quite a bit. i had 1,800 cals yesterday. ick. goal of 1,200 today and i've only had tea for breakfast. at 11am i had a pack of oatmeal. i used to have that when i was at my low weight (120, sigh) every day. even the apple cinnamon flavor is only 130 cals and it fills you up. i ran errands after that and wasn't too hungry 2 hrs later, but everyone was having lunch so i made a grilled cheese with salsa (like a grilled cheese but with salsa melted in between too) yumm. it wasn't too bad as far as cals go, but i'm still at 450 for the day. going to the gym now. goal of 700 cals burned, and i've got a budget of 750 cals to reach my goal of 1,200 today. less would be great!!

rather than focus on the horrible binge i had this afternoon, i'll try to focus on the positive: i ran 5 miles this morning and i read shape magazine while i was waiting to get my haircut (after my binge). i've decided to give this whole thing a fresh start.

starting tomorrow, here's the plan:

-600-1200 calories/day
-45-90 minutes of cardio/day
-at least 20 minutes of weights/exercizes/day
-my meals must include at least 1 fruit or vegetable
-no red meat, no sugar/sweets
-i'm also going to post my meals on LJ in addition to fitday so i can see more concretely what i'm eating for each meal and so i don't eat between meals

C:1200
E: 0

i worked all day today then got a greek salad out for dinner. i was going to go to the health club to workout because i missed running during the day, but my mom wanted to take me to get some stuff for my dorm room, so i went with her. i'm going to set my alarm for 6:30 am so that i can get up early to fit in a run before i have to go to work.

C: 900
E:-780

i ran 7.5 miles this afternoon. it didn't feel bad at all. i basically just decided this morning that running a lot is going to be the quickest way to drop weight paired with low cals. so i've just got to decide how far i want to go each day and map out on the usatf website where i'm going.

also i've noticed that not snacking is cutting down on a ton of calories and limiting serving size at meals helps a lot too.